Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Friends Don't Let Friends Politic & Facebook


“If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend” - Abraham Lincoln

It's taken me a long while to get to where I am in my life now. I've had a lot of growing up to do. When I heard stuff about politics and god not being proper subjects of discussion amongst friends and over beers I thought "What?! When could be a BETTER time?" All one had to do to get me going was say something that rhymed with abortion, or religion, or George Bush:

"Lord Tush"

"What?! George Bush?! Fuck that asshole! Motherfucker can't even read! Don't tell me you voted for that retard! Oh, huh? Oh. I thought you said..."

But I've come to the realization recently that we are not the sum of our picket signs. Our Facebook groups. Our bumper stickers. I have zero desire to announce to the strangers in my community via my back windshield that I'm for universal healthcare. You want to know how I feel about these issues? Get to know me. Maybe we like the same books, music, movies. Maybe we both hate baseball. Enjoy cooking, baking, gardening. Llamas, giraffes, turtles. Ikea. I don't fucking know. There are a million things we could potentially have in common that we're likely never to know about each other if all we represent to one another is one side of a political spectrum which is all total bullshit anyway. I go to Facebook to look at pics and see funny videos you uploaded, not to be reminded that you are against socialism, or that you hate tea-party members. If I know you, I already know that about you. And if I don't know you, you just let me know that you are part of a group that I'm not. And that you prefer the people in that group to the people outside of it. Congratulations. You've just reminded me of something we don't have in common. Hooray! Now let's have a meaningless conversation about it on your "wall." We're sure to have a meeting of the minds that way. To see each other's side; respect each other's points. "Hey FB friend I haven't seen in 15 years! Check out this petition I just signed to 'Teach the Controversy'! And here you thought we were cool with each other. Well, whatever. I'm doing my part to change the world through status updates."

Click. Hide. Click.