Fear not, bored and unmotivated reader! I am back. For like the 5th time.
First- here's what I've been up to since my last post:
-Started school
-Bought a new computer
Yep, I think that about sums it up. Just so you know, I still have very ill feelings about Goldman Sachs and the complete corporate control of our government. I'm ENRAGED about stuff and things. Unfortunately, like most Americans, I am only ENRAGED to the point of bitching about stuff. I am not motivated to upstart a revolution or anything. Alas, because of my and only my lack of enthusiasm and commitment--things will forever be the same. Maybe in a hundred years or more an enthused and motivated revolutionary will be born. Until then, we're fucked.
In the meantime, instead of thinking about how fucked up things are and how completely powerless I am to change things, I am going to shift the focus (not that there was one) of my blog to my adventures in Law School. And not just any Law School: Evening Law School. I thought Evening Law School was just the place for people who had to work during the day, but it turns out it's also the place for the people who weren't qualified for the day program. Hooray for second string!! Actually, St. Mary's Law in and of itself is second string because, really, who wouldn't rather be at UT? So I guess that makes St. Mary's Law Evening Program something like the farm leagues. But fuck it. All I need is to finish this shit, get the piece of paper, then take the month long prep course (because apparently three or four years in law school isn't enough) and pass the bar. I mean do we really care where Jim Adler--who is so smart and so tough--went to law school? Or Roni Deutch? I think not.
So by now I am halfway through my first semester, and it's FLOWN by! I have one really kickass professor (why he is teaching night courses at St. Mary's I have no idea. Catholic guilt maybe?), and two mediocre professors. One who is lame and boring, and one who is scatterbrained.Without consulting my books, and working only from memory (this is some David Blane shit!), I will now relate to you a few of my favorite cases:
#1: Pepsico (or, somebody vs. Pepsico). Back in the 90s Pepsi had some campaign where you could buy Pepsi products and collect Pepsi "points." So they came up with this commercial where some kid is getting ready for school wearing his Pepsi tee-shirt and Pepsi leather jacket and Pepsi sunglasses and meanwhile you are seeing words on the screen letting you know how many Pepsi points are required to purchase the featured gear ("Leather jacket: 300 Pepsi Points," or whatever). Then the scene switches to these three dudes on the steps in front of their high school flipping through a catalogue of Pepsi merchandise redeemable with Pepsi points.
While they get their minds blown over the possibilities of shit they can get with the Pepsi logo plastered all over it, a fierce wind begins to blow. Papers are flying everywhere, hair is being blown back, students are startled, a teacher is stripped down to his boxers as all his clothes are blown off (Hilarious, dude!)... and then you see the kid from the opening of the commercial landing a fighter jet on school grounds saying "Sure beats the bus," with the words "Harrier Jet: 7,000,000 Pepsi Points" on the screen.
Here's where the lawsuit comes. Have you figured it out already? Yes, that's right, some douchebag collected a shitload of Pepsi Points in order to trade them in for the Harrier Jet. Then when he realized he'd have to buy every Pepsi he saw for the next hundred years he did some research and determined that cash could be redeemed in lieu of points (there was some dollar to point ratio, but I forget). So this motherfucker managed to collect $700,000.00 and sent a check, along with some worthless ass Pepsi Points and a letter from his lawyer to Pepsico "accepting the offer to purchase the Harrier Jet."
Guess what Pepsi did? They sent the check right back and said "Thanks, but there's no offer here. We don't really have a Harrier Fucking Jet to send you. That was a joke, dumbass!"--or other such language. Dummy wasn't taking "No" for an answer, and sued claiming breach of contract. He said to have a fair trial it was necessary for the jurors to be like him, "members of the Pepsi Generation." For real, that was part of his claim. He lost. Note to potential plaintiffs: an outlandish claim in a commercial does not an offer make. Pepsi altered the commercial after that with a disclaimer reading "Just kidding" after the jet was shown.
Lucky you! I found the commercial on Youtube: (the unaltered version anyway)
#2: Fuck it. I've gone on long enough. I have homework to do. #2 is for next time.
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