I'm skipping class tonight. I'm somewhat worried because after three (or at three, I can't remember) absences in my Torts class your grade drops by a letter, but there are only eight classes left after tonight so unless some dummy shows up with H1N1 (knock on wood) I'll be OK. Mainly I'm skipping because I just don't feel like going. That's pretty much why everyone cuts class, I think. Then there is this other, less compelling reason. Somehow, some dummy in my class got this GREAT IDEA (!): Wouldn't it be funny, they suggested, if one night we all came to Professor Johnson's class wearing bow-ties?! "See, because he always wears a bow-tie. Get it? Like, he will show up all 'Do-de-do-de-do' and he'll get to the podium, look up at us, and see all these bow-ties! Hardy-Har-Har. You in??
Fuck no, I'm not in. That's TOTALLY LAME. It's not fun. It's not funny. I don't fucking get it. WHY?! Needless to say I was outnumbered. There are a few others who won't be in on the joke (badump-ching!), but mainly b/c they are worried the professor will be offended in some way. I don't think that will be an issue. Rather, I think he'll smile awkwardly, maybe even giggle--all while thinking "What the?" And I don't want to witness that. So I'm not going.
Anyhow, I have told myself that I will take advantage of the time not spent in class to get ahead on the assignments (lie), so I better get to work.
Here are a couple of really interesting videos I found over at boing boing about why you should never ever in a million fucking years talk to the cops. Not one word. They're lengthy, but worth it.
Today in Torts we reviewed this case where this crazy ass bitch who believed to have a personal relationship with god--like, they were facebook friends kinda relationship; buddies--drove head on at full speed into a van whilst traveling on the wrong side of the road because "God told her she was Batman and could fly." Thankfully nobody died. Unfortunately she misunderstood "Batshit Crazy" for "Batman."
OK, I can't believe it's been nearly two months since I've updated this albatross of a blog that I was convinced would be so badass but has turned out, like so... so many others, to be totally lame. Coming back here just reminds me of what a flake I am, so I tend to avoid it. In fact, I bought a computer over a month ago and just realized I never even bothered to bookmark my very own (lame) blog. :(
Fear not, bored and unmotivated reader! I am back. For like the 5th time.
First- here's what I've been up to since my last post:
-Started school -Bought a new computer
Yep, I think that about sums it up. Just so you know, I still have very ill feelings about Goldman Sachs and the complete corporate control of our government. I'm ENRAGED about stuff and things. Unfortunately, like most Americans, I am only ENRAGED to the point of bitching about stuff. I am not motivated to upstart a revolution or anything. Alas, because of my and only my lack of enthusiasm and commitment--things will forever be the same. Maybe in a hundred years or more an enthused and motivated revolutionary will be born. Until then, we're fucked.
In the meantime, instead of thinking about how fucked up things are and how completely powerless I am to change things, I am going to shift the focus (not that there was one) of my blog to my adventures in Law School. And not just any Law School: Evening Law School. I thought Evening Law School was just the place for people who had to work during the day, but it turns out it's also the place for the people who weren't qualified for the day program. Hooray for second string!! Actually, St. Mary's Law in and of itself is second string because, really, who wouldn't rather be at UT? So I guess that makes St. Mary's Law Evening Program something like the farm leagues. But fuck it. All I need is to finish this shit, get the piece of paper, then take the month long prep course (because apparently three or four years in law school isn't enough) and pass the bar. I mean do we really care where Jim Adler--who is so smart and so tough--went to law school? Or Roni Deutch? I think not.
So by now I am halfway through my first semester, and it's FLOWN by! I have one really kickass professor (why he is teaching night courses at St. Mary's I have no idea. Catholic guilt maybe?), and two mediocre professors. One who is lame and boring, and one who is scatterbrained.
Without consulting my books, and working only from memory (this is some David Blane shit!), I will now relate to you a few of my favorite cases:
#1: Pepsico (or, somebody vs. Pepsico). Back in the 90s Pepsi had some campaign where you could buy Pepsi products and collect Pepsi "points." So they came up with this commercial where some kid is getting ready for school wearing his Pepsi tee-shirt and Pepsi leather jacket and Pepsi sunglasses and meanwhile you are seeing words on the screen letting you know how many Pepsi points are required to purchase the featured gear ("Leather jacket: 300 Pepsi Points," or whatever). Then the scene switches to these three dudes on the steps in front of their high school flipping through a catalogue of Pepsi merchandise redeemable with Pepsi points. While they get their minds blown over the possibilities of shit they can get with the Pepsi logo plastered all over it, a fierce wind begins to blow. Papers are flying everywhere, hair is being blown back, students are startled, a teacher is stripped down to his boxers as all his clothes are blown off (Hilarious, dude!)... and then you see the kid from the opening of the commercial landing a fighter jet on school grounds saying "Sure beats the bus," with the words "Harrier Jet: 7,000,000 Pepsi Points" on the screen. Here's where the lawsuit comes. Have you figured it out already? Yes, that's right, some douchebag collected a shitload of Pepsi Points in order to trade them in for the Harrier Jet. Then when he realized he'd have to buy every Pepsi he saw for the next hundred years he did some research and determined that cash could be redeemed in lieu of points (there was some dollar to point ratio, but I forget). So this motherfucker managed to collect $700,000.00 and sent a check, along with some worthless ass Pepsi Points and a letter from his lawyer to Pepsico "accepting the offer to purchase the Harrier Jet." Guess what Pepsi did? They sent the check right back and said "Thanks, but there's no offer here. We don't really have a Harrier Fucking Jet to send you. That was a joke, dumbass!"--or other such language. Dummy wasn't taking "No" for an answer, and sued claiming breach of contract. He said to have a fair trial it was necessary for the jurors to be like him, "members of the Pepsi Generation." For real, that was part of his claim. He lost. Note to potential plaintiffs: an outlandish claim in a commercial does not an offer make. Pepsi altered the commercial after that with a disclaimer reading "Just kidding" after the jet was shown.
Lucky you! I found the commercial on Youtube: (the unaltered version anyway)
#2: Fuck it. I've gone on long enough. I have homework to do. #2 is for next time.
I don't know who this Max Keiser is, but I know I love him. While we're busy bringing guns to healthcare "debates," there is nary a whisper on television of the true tyrants on Wall Street who are fleecing us for personal profits. Wonder why? Oh yeah, b/c all the major news organizations are owned and operated by Corporations who control content.
To review: With 22,000 Americans dying each year because they lack health insurance, Congress is considering universal healthcare legislation financed by a surcharge on income above $280,000 -- that is, a levy almost exclusively on 1-percenters. This surtax would graze just 5 percent of small businesses and would recoup only part of the $700 billion the 1-percenters received from the Bush tax cuts. In fact, it is so minuscule, those making $1 million annually would pay just $9,000 more in taxes every year -- or nine-tenths of 1 percent of their 12-month haul.
President Obama said Friday he would nominate Robert Hormats, a vice chairman of Goldman Sachs International, to a top economic position at the State Department. Mr. Hormats, 66, will be under secretary of state for economic, energy and agricultural affairs. He was deputy trade representative from 1979 through 1981 and held other posts at the State Department throughout his career. Hillary Rodham Clinton, the secretary of state, said in a speech on Wednesday that she hoped to make economic policy and trade a larger part of United States diplomacy.
I don't think it's physically possible for my eyes to roll back any further in my head than they do when I read about how much sex so many of our elected officials, namely the Big Guy: El Presidente, are having with Goldman Sachs.
Guess it's important to know on which side your bread is buttered.
Published: July 13 2009 23:33 | Last updated: July 13 2009 23:33
Executives at Goldman Sachs sold almost $700m worth of stock following the collapse of Lehman Brothers last September, according to filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission.
Most of the sales occurred during the period in which the investment bank enjoyed the support of $10bn from the troubled asset relief programme.
The surge in selling among Goldman partners, at a time when the US government had thrown a lifeline to Wall Street, is likely to draw criticism from lawmakers on Capitol Hill.
(Eh. Pomp and circumstance, yes. Legitimate outrage? Not so long as their pockets are lined)
Having survived the crisis, the bank is expected to report strong second-quarter earnings on Tuesday on rebounding trading profits.
For the eight-month period for which figures are available, Goldman partners sold more than $691m in company stock, even as the firm expanded its public float from 395m to 503m shares in several capital raises.
For the comparable period between September 2007 and April 2008, when the average share price was substantially higher, Goldman partners sold about $438m in stock.
(These guys really are talented!)
A spokesman declined to comment on the sales, other than to note that Goldman partners receive a big share of annual bonuses in stock, and that for many, stock sales are an effort to diversify their holdings.
Some of the sales could have been motivated by margin calls, which are said to have afflicted a number of Goldman executives who used company stock as collateral for loans.
Stock sales by partners have been a sensitive topic at Goldman Sachs, but never more so than since last September after the collapse of Lehman’s. According to a disclosure in Goldman’s most recent proxy statement in March, the bank took the unusual step of buying back investments in illiquid employee funds made by Jon Winkelried, former co-chief operating officer, and Gregory Palm, general counsel, for $19.7m and $38.3m respectively.
Goldman agreed to the unusual buy-backs last September to obviate the need for the two officers to sell stock on the open market, the company said in March. “Stock sales would easily have covered their requirements but, given the turbulent market conditions, we and they were concerned that such sales would be misconstrued by the market as indicating a lack of confidence in Goldman Sachs.”
(Heaven forbid!)
Employee ownership has been an important component of Goldman’s “partnership” culture, a vestige of the investment bank’s history as a privately held firm. It went public in 1999.
But Goldman’s culture was severely tested last year. For the period during which executive sales were allowed, from September 17 to October 24, Goldman partners sold some $250m worth of stock.
A bigger wave of selling occurred during the window between December 2008, after Goldman reported its first quarterly loss as a public company, and mid-February. In that two-month period, when Goldman’s share price sunk to near-historic lows, partners sold more than $280m worth of company stock.
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Two can be as bad as one It's the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know 'Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number, worse than two It's just no good anymore since you went away Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Please do yourself a favor and read this Rolling Stone article by Matt Taibbi that illustrates just how much power those assholes on Wall Street actually have.
When you're done with that, please do yourself another favor and watch this Bill Moyers video in which a former Cigna executive comes clean about the healthcare industry. Stuff we all already know, but still extremely (albeit depressingly) enlightening.
TV Car w/ AC Half the Bills Someone to go to the movies with Someone to go out to eat with Foot rubs Walking buddy Someone to hug CONS: Crazy Moody Negative Mean Unhappy Hurtful Non-Committal Never satisfied Grouchy Hothead Poor music taste Poor movie taste Know-it-all Cruel
It's time for me to eat my words. To do some fessin' up. Let me explain-- some of you may have, at times, had to suffer through my bitching about how overrated the iphone is, how I'd like to be the one person left WITHOUT one. Well, I cannot tell a lie, I was being a hater. I have always thought the phone was bad-ass, but since I had T-mobile and it was unavailable to me I was all sour grapes. I pretended like it didn't even matter to me that I couldn't get the phone because it was retarded anyway. I was posturing. I didn't mean it, OKAY?!
But today is a new day, my friends. The tide has turned and to make a long story short I will soon be the proud owner of the iphone 3GS, in white no less. Forgive me for bragging, but you should all know that very soon (seven to fourteen business days when it arrives in the mail) I will be cooler than ALL OF YOU. And haters, don't even bother. Once I was you, so I know you're full of shit.
Well I've been in this hot mess of a town for just over a month now--well, not technically if you consider the 12 days I was in Dallas housesitting, but close enough-- and so far it's only sorta lame, not TOTALLY lame like I thought it'd be. As these hideous boots pictured above attest, the city isn't too concerned with modernity, or ditching the stereotype that all Texans are cowboy boot wearin', truck drivin', gun-totin hicks. I mean, those boots sit just outside of a mall. A MALL. Ugh.
Still, though, there are positives. Since most people this close to Austin would prefer to live there, the traffic is minimal. I have found the people here to be friendly, for the most part. Let's see, what else is nice about this town? There's got to be something. Well, I keep thinking about it.
One thing I don't understand about this town is howfucking hot it seems compared to Austin, which is only 86 miles North of here. It seems like it's constantly about to rain here, so there's always a shitload of water in the air bringing the heat index up to something like 126 degrees.
I should be more positive about it, I know. My friend here finds it "refreshingly hipster free," which is a plus. And I'm excited to go back to school (late August) and if I can get the maximum $$ in student loans I may not even have to work, so that's fucking rad.
As for you, Austin, my Sweet--
It's goodbye for now, but not forever (sniff, sniff).
Of all the political euphemisms and turn of phrases there are that get on my damn nerves (and there are plenty), none bother me more than "folk." A fair amount of googling leads me to believe that you probably aren't as bothered by this phrase as I am, or better yet you probably don't care. But I'm not as mellow as you. Shit bugs me. I mean, don't you think it's the slightest bit demeaning? For example, you won't ever hear the talking heads of media refer to politicians as folks. They have titles. "Congresswoman such and such, thanks for joining us." "Senator whatshisface said today..."
It's been bothering me for awhile, then today on the way home from work in my car I heard that horny hypocrite Eliot Spitzer on NPR who, when asked about why anyone would give a shit about what he has to say about the deceptiveness, lack of willpower and lack of moral fortitude on the part of bank regulators recently conisdering he was out fucking high priced hookers barely out of college at night and fighting for stricter laws and penalties for prostitutes and johns by day, he said something along the lines of "folks will judge his message accordingly and make their own decisions and blah, blah, blah." And I'm like "folks"? I'm not your fucking folk, you fucker.
Why can't these god damn public servants learn their place?
I'm one of "the people." As in "we the people."As in "Democracy of, by and for 'The People'." Don't you fucking downgrade me to a folk. Folks are common. People are a collective of persons. I mean, we elect our officials to follow the "will of the people," not the "will of the folks." It's "Power to the People!" not "Power to the Folks!" And can you imagine being told that the earthquake in Italy killed a "bunch of folks"? That the crazed gunmen in NY went on a rampage and "13 folks died"? No! It's ridiculous. Once we die we're upgraded, I guess.
The language of politics is a manipulative one. The more distant and disconnected we see ourselves from our politicians, the more despondent we become. As soon as you accept that it's an "Us and Them" game, as soon as you accept that you're just a "folk" with no power and no say, the sooner "We" lose.
I don't expect people to be as easily annoyed and defensive as me, but I do expect them to be a little less apathetic.
On that note, Austin mayoral and city council elections are just around the corner. They're participartory, so do your part.
remember this: "The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them." — Philip K. Dick
Perhaps you've seen their blatantly sexist and extremely unoriginal ads and thought "Well, that's pretty gross but the clothes are produced domestically and the sales people are paid more than double that of the kids over at Abercrombie and The Gap (who's threads are woven in China, Vietnam, and Indonesia) and so even though I'm not a fan of the way they market themselves I am a fan of 'Made In America' so I don't feel shitty spending my money there." OK, Well, Fuck that.
This dude: This fucking piece of shit Canadian dipshit who thinks he's some sort of fucking trendsetter/trailblazer/pioneer/captain of industry is nothing but a dick-tugging/finger-sniffing/ass-groping hack who's about as ingenious and revolutionary as a Wall Street sycophant with a pension for Alabama Hot Pockets, AND... And, he's an asshole. Don't support an asshole, please. Fuck him, and fuck his $40 cotton v-neck t-shirts.
Subject: Tell Obama: Stop blocking court review of illegal wiretapping.
Dear Friend,
We have an opportunity to bring the Bush administration to justice for illegal wiretapping. But President Obama is blocking the way.
On April 2, President's Obama's lawyers invoked Bush's radical theory of executive power -- and the 'state secrets' defense -- to argue for the dismissal of the Electronic Frontier Foundation's litigation against the National Security Agency for the warrantless wiretapping of countless Americans.
MSNBC host Keith Olbermann has said "The Obama administration is just flat out dead wrong about this." You can watch Olbermann and Constitutional law professor Jonathan Turley discuss Obama's use of the "state secrets" privilege to protect the Bush administration on illegal wiretapping in this YouTube video:
Once I watched one of those news magazine shows, can't remember which, that profiled this fiction writer who also knew like Quantam physics and the nature of time and all that shit that you just generally don't understand how anyone understands and anyway he was asked how he manages to be successful in two seemingly opposite fields at the same time and his response was simply "hard work."
Tsk. Hrmph. "You mean you think just anyone can be creative? Just anyone can write?!"
"Yes."
Sigh. He said he would sit at his desk all day and not leave until he'd accomplished something. I sit at my desk at work all day and get paid while not accomplishing anything, so I'm sure it's no surprise that my tiny, humble little blog has been sitting collecting cobwebs for awhile now.
Please don't leave me.
It seems like just yesterday I came to this sacred spot on the interwebs and bitched about my "new" job. I still hate it and what's worse--it's about to come to an end. I was hired as a temp, and the position only lasts for one year unless you can manage to score a position within the company before that year ends. I haven't managed to do that, mainly because I didn't want to. Now I'm losing sleep fretting over the inevitable: unemployment in this shitty economy. Doesn't help that the governor of my fine state has vowed to reject money allocated for Texas to extend unemployment benefits either.
"What? You're broke and can't find a job? Sucks for you. P.S. How does my hair look? Sincerely, Rick Perry"
In addition to not knowing if I'll have a job when June comes, I'm also unsure of the following: If I'll get accepted to law school, where I'll live, if I'll be with my boyfriend (looks doubtful, which, depending on who you ask, is hopeful). I feel like the cruise ship's hit an iceberg and I survived but am still floating in the middle of nowhere in a dingy, parched, sun-burnt and hallucinating. Only mine ain't the Life of Pi; there are no zoo animals and I will not find god when it all ends.
I do have my music, though. I am currently completely obsessed with the fine looking gentleman pictured above, one Ryan Bingham. This tall drink of water is a Texas singer-songwriter who pretty much could yodel and I'd listen all day because he's so god-damn beautiful. His good looks are really too much. I lose time just looking at him. What was I saying?
Oh, I remember now--what the fuck happened to my youth? I'd like it back now, please.
Thank you. Yeah, it was fun. Christy, Jenny and I went to this restaurant/bar on the Eastside called "Good Knight," or maybe it's "The Good Knight"? That'd make more sense. Anyway, the skinny on this place is that you walk in and feel like you have been transported to 1884. It's dark and woody with old framed pictures and patterned drapes everywhere. They do a classic cocktails menu, which I was excited about since my favorite drink is the Old Fashioned (it was okay, not as good as mine but they never are). Then they have a small dinner menu with tasty food that's ridiculously overpriced. I had the chicken pot pie which was really just soup with a puff pastry on top. Aside from the overpriced food, the only other really silly thing about the place was the jukebox. They tried to keep with the old-timey theme, but that really isn't possible where music is concerned. I heard some Frank Sinatra, which made it feel like I had transported via my home made time travel machine and because of some glitch ended up stuck in some sort of parallel universe where the 1950s and the 1880s coincided. The highlight of the night was when Jenny let Christy and I know that from her seat she could see some guy at the bar's crack staring her right in the face and then he heard her, turned and gave a her the stink eye, and pulled up his pants--or, breetches I should say. From there we went to a bar (still on the Eastside) called the Longbranch. I saw they had a sticker on one of their tip jars that said "Don't Dallas up my Austin," but judging by the crowd on the patio that command was ineffective. The service was mediocre. The jukebox sub-par. But we were good and buzzed at that point, so I didn't really give a shit. One positive, the graffiti in the ladies room, where I got the above pic (Suck it bitches), and the one below (Bibles are 4 goobs):
Also, apparently, Kelis is in San Diego now--dying by the sword. So much for her milkshake. (badump, bump)
OK, it's already the fifth, I know. It's been too long. I've abandoned my sad little blog. I just want it to be so entertaining for you and I have had no exciting news to report.
I had this idea awhile back about reporting on local politics (Regime Change Begins at Home!). You know how every election there's a bunch of local shit on the ballot? Prop such and such that you've never heard of. Here in Austin there was tons of confusion over Prop. 2. The wording was a little weird, and turns out a bunch of people who were against it voted for it. I thought, I'll spend my time following the local scene--this is a Capitol city after all--and then report back to you: The People. Yeah, well, turns out I don't wanna expend all that energy and furthermore--surprise, surprise--there are already bloggers out there reporting on the local political scene.
Now what? Local live music scene? Nah. I don't think so. Celebrity gossip? Yeah, 'cos that's not been done before...I guess I'll stick to what I know and pass on the dull and shitty details of my daily life. Who wouldn't be interested in that? (Answer: Me)
Well, I still have a really shitty job as a contract employee for Apple. I still hate the slut I work with. Her contract is up in a matter of weeks, though. So that's good. My contract is up in June, so I now have six months to come up with a new plan. I've got some ideas. Stuff in the oven, you know... In the meantime, it's cube life for me. Ugh. It's nearly unbearable. I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I ended up working last week on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day and the office was completely empty. Which was nice b/c a) I didn't have to deal w/ my slutty co-worker and b)I didn't have to fight for the printer. I cannot believe how irritated my co-workers get b/c they have to wait a couple of minutes for my documents to print up before theirs do. You've got all day, I wanna scream. You want me to use another printer? Complain to management. I'm not going to buy my own, for fuck's sake.
On the other hand, working all alone sucked b/c it's like "Why am I the only one here?" And I realize it's because I'm poor and I don't get any vacation or holiday pay so if I'm not there, I don't get paid. I cut out early on those days, though. (Shhhhh.)
The only other thing I have to relay is that if you are reading this and you haven't seen "The Wire," and/or Ed Burns (not that Ed Burns) and David Simon's other HBO project "Generation Kill," then you need to click on over to Netflix and add those gems to your cue toot sweet!
I've been recommending these shows (well, mainly "The Wire") to anyone w/in an earshot of me since I saw them. They are like nothing else on television...EVER.
Well, it's been really swell catching up with you. Guess I'll go do laundry now. Snuggle my cats, maybe. Read a little. Very exciting stuff to attend to! See you next time.
