Meet the New Year, Same as the Old Year

I CANNOT believe I have not updated this blog since APRIL 2010. Can't say the title didn't warn you.

Today is the first day of the new year and, as always, I have resolved, resoluted, resolutioned, whatever to pursue a healthy lifestyle. I have been on hot pursuit of said lifestyle for nearly a decade now. Maybe this will be the year I finally reach it. There is one significant difference between 2011 and all prior years I have resolved to lose weight and quit eating like an eighth grader whose parents are going through a divorce--this year I turn 40.

Holy shit. Oh Em Gee. WTF. 40. Seems like just yesterday I was 39.

Anycrowsfeet, the year I turn 40 will be chronicled right here, on my very own lame blog. Like any good self-indulgent asshole who thinks too highly of themselves, I want to preserve and memorialize the experience so I can look back on how witty and under-appreciated I am. I had a similar idea regarding my first year of law school but as it looks as though I'm about to flunk out, it ended up being a good thing I flaked out on that plan. The only way to fail at turning 40 is to die, and if I'm dead I won't kick myself for abandoning my blog b/c, well, I'll be dead.

In the meantime, continue to peruse the internet at your leisure b/c before long this vast and open road cleverly referred to as the internet hwy will shut down. The exits that provide us with vital and constitutionally guaranteed information about the inner-workings of our government, along with those loops that allow us to see what's going on in the rest of the world without leaving our own zip code, will be closed altogether. While the rest of the exits that lead to the useless bullshit We The People salivate over learning (and then immediately unlearning) will be accessible for a premium.

Christ, maybe Prince was right. Remember when MTV played videos? Way back when being 16 and pregnant was something you didn't aspire to?

So let's ring in this New Year right and raise a glass to Uncle Sam: For he's the jolly good fellow, for he's the jolly good fellow, for he's the jolly good FELLLLLOOOOWW...which nobody can deny.

Which nobody can deny
Which nobody can deny