Waiting for the Other Shoe to Fall

First day of Spring Semester starts tomorrow. I'm enrolled but only because I have yet to receive a letter from St. Mary's notifying me that because my GPA is below a 2.0 I have been "academically excluded" (guess this means I can still show up and do other stuff).

The reason that letter is pending is because my grades from last semester are still pending.

Yes, friends, this semester will begin before the grades from last semester are out.

I am waiting for two more grades. One of the grades--Constitutional Law--has been posted. It's not good. It's rhymes with B but it's not a B. It's two letter grades down from that.

I am also waiting for my financial aid to come through. I don't work, and so my student loan money is my only money. I need it to live and stuff.

Since it's likely that I won't be officially excluded academically until my loans are processed, I have no idea whether or not I'll be able to actually spend that money. I don't know whether I should buy books, or show up to class, or do homework...

I don't know anything about anything, and it fucking sucks.

Still, I've got my pride. And my blue steel 45. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall.